greatest need that we carry in itself ... is the need to be close to each other .. However, we fear very much that in many ways we show the closeness of the .. or use it ...
why each of us fears of intimacy, regardless of whether we're aware of it or not. The proximity means a discovery before the stranger. To be honest, we're all strangers to each other: no one knows anyone. We are strangers even to ourselves, because we do not know who we are.
proximity, close-up to a stranger means that you must reject all defense mechanisms, and only if this closeness is possible. But the fear arises that when you stop to "defend", and when to drop all the masks they wear ... who knows what to do with you, the stranger, the other person?
beings by nature are mysterious, hiding thousands of things - not only against others, but even from ourselves - because we were brought up in a sick society that we imposed inhibitions, one thousand, thousands of prohibitions, injunctions, taboo. Hence the fear of strangers, regardless of whether you live with that person ten, twenty or thirty years - this strangeness never disappears. I feel better when you keep a little distance and you have in store your defenses, because someone can use your weakness, your susceptibility to injury. Let's face it, so everyone, literally everyone is afraid of intimacy.
This problem becomes much more serious, because everybody wants intimacy. Everyone wants to close, because without it we are alone in the universe. When you live without a friend, loved one, without anyone to whom you could trust, without anyone to whom you could discover their wounds, remember that the wounds are not healed, if not exposed. When it zasłonisz, only to fill even more oil.
proximity is a basic human need, so everyone wants it, you too ... but also want to make it the other person is approached, to be revealed, rejected their defense mechanisms, she discovered his injuries, which wears the mask broke up, she found her authentic personality, stood completely "naked" in front of you. When that happens .. you usually even though they want to close, he worried, however, rejected his "defense."
is one of the fundamental conflicts between friends, loved ones: no one wants to reveal, to stand in the "nudity", quite frankly before this one. And we both want to close ...
Hence, if you do not reject the inhibitions and stłumień, which "gave gifts" you your parents, your upbringing, your society, your culture and your religion, then you never really get close to anyone. But YOU must take the initiative, do not flip it on the other person.
Often, even when someone else is ready to bestow you with His love ... then withdraw. There is a concern: "Yes, it is beautiful, but how long will it last? Sooner or later I'll have to discover." And love means closeness, love is two people approaching each other, love is two bodies in one soul. And there is fear, fear for your soul, your inner self ... "I'm not perfect, it is better to hide, it's better not to explore, than to expose the rejection of" ... And in this way fear of rejection does not let you take the love, do not let you get close to another person.
What to do? First, the basic step is to accept yourself, as you are ... reject the tradition, which led almost the entire world crazy. Look inwards and reject everything that has been imposed on you, everything that makes you ashamed. You have to accept their nature, such as it is, rather than one which "should be". In my life I do not accept any "should / should not." All the "should / should not" be a fatal disease of the mind. At this point begging in the words of the Bible:
My 1. 2:16-17
16th I gave the Lord God commanded the man, Of every tree of the garden you may eat,
17th But of the tree of knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, because when you eat of it, surely die.
(BW)
/ tree means the principle of life /
therefore reject all the duties of being somebody, pious, respected ... nothing is more beautiful than being a simple and ordinary, from being just myself. You can express themselves genuinely and honestly - you become open and that openness will help other person to open up to you. Your unpretentious, authentic simplicity of an invitation for intimacy, trust and openness from the other person. When they disappear all the "should / should not" when you no longer have to hide and fear, then there is closeness.
When there is love, when you want to go deeper into it, there is another problem. By going deeper in love, you lose all your false self. I begin to fear and avoid the depths of love, because this depth is like death. You begin to create barriers between themselves and your beloved, because a woman appears like an abyss, the abyss through which can be absorbed. Arose from a woman, she is the womb, the abyss ... if they can give you life, can give you a death. The woman is dangerous and mysterious. Can not live without it while you can not live with her. You can not depart from it, because without it life is empty, you can not quite get close to it, because then you lose your self.
This conflict is typical of all love. Thus, you make compromises: no stray too far, but it is not coming up totally. You are standing somewhere in the middle, balancing each other ... but then love can not be worse. The depth of love is attainable only if you reject fear and jump with eyes closed head in front.
is dangerous - love can kill your ego, your self. Love is poison for your false self. Love is real life for you, love is death to your self. You have to jump. You have to approach and literally dissolve in a woman ... This closeness is the door to the divine, to eternity.
woman has a similar problem. The more you begin to approach the man, the more it tries to escape from it, and is one thousand excuses would be dismissed. Thus, a woman must wait, and waiting is another problem: if a woman does not take the initiative, it looks like the indifference, and indifference can kill love. Nothing is more fatal to love than indifference. Even hatred is better because at least some kind of relationship between two people. Love can survive the hatred, but I can not stand indifference. And that is why a woman has a difficult, if taking the lead, the man runs away because most men can not stand women who take the initiative. Man feels that he is approaching the gap, so you better run away before it's too late. That's what created donżuani. Circulate from one woman to another, filled with fear that the gap can absorb them. Donżuani lovers are not true, but look at them - every day a new woman. Donżuani are frightened people, afraid of proximity. So
woman also stands in the middle, as a man between the fear of the abyss and a desire for closeness, as a woman between the acquisition initiative, and indifference. Both situations are bad, the usual compromises. A compromise does not allow love to bloom. Compromises do not allow anything to bloom. Compromises the calculation, cunning ... needed in business, but having nothing to do with love. So take a chance, get rid of barriers to their ego and jump ... jump into a real closeness, jump in true love.
At the beginning of love is the color of sex. If it is shallow, remains to be reduced to sex, it really is not no love. And sex without love brings life to a primitive, almost disgusting level. Sex can be beautiful when accompanied by love. Itself is disgusting. It's like the most beautiful woman most beautiful eyes removed from their sockets. Deprived of the body, even the most beautiful eyes are disgusting.
proximity in relation to one woman or man is much better than the multitude of partnerships. Perhaps this multiplicity is fun, but superficial - you can not ever develop internally. Love is not a seasonal flower, it takes her much time to blossom. Every man has the element of femininity, every woman has the element of masculinity. The only way to be convinced of this unity, this being in a deep intimacy. Try to get close to bloom as much as possible. Let bloom trust, throw all the barriers that divide you from the other person.
For me, spirituality means warmth, love and intimacy. The source of heat is a woman. Her love and devotion, combined with man's intellect, her heart is connected with the head of a man can make a miracle ...
And so we fill the order only to fulfill what we all had:
Arch. 10:27
27th And he answered and said, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength and thy neighbor as thyself.
(BW)
Without opening up in close proximity .. I never will experience any love ... present or not you give others ... Share your
his love, their hearts. When you wish the woman and a man rolled up together in harmony and a deep sense of unlimited intimacy. Only in this way we can change the world.
will need many hearts .. to change this sick world .. I hope you're one of those who, like me .. understand the meaning of existence here at a certain place at a specific time .. the beautiful land ..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H5vgdr_Vt4E
Good luck ..
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